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monday december 23rd 0039 hours

oh by the way, i needn't remind that the twin two towers is an absolute imperative. if there is only once a rule should be bent. the graphics, the colour, the cinematograohy... hell the story itself more than makes up for 8 bux (or so). i think peter jackson has taken fantasy into a whole differing level, ripping all childhood images of elves, dwarves, swordsmen, monsters and monstrosity, even courage itself, from paper, and painting each and every one of them lucid tangibility. it's welcoming to be able to let yourself believe that magic is what the screen makes it (once in a while). i couldn't drag myself beyond the first 20 pages of tolkien's fellowship (to say the least about the twin two towers) and so it is not within me to offer comparisons between the real mccoy and its ambitious adaptation, but i think the people who find fellowship, or towers, or both, still even remotely disappointing are much too fanatical. me, i'm more than a happy camper.

you know what happened the first half hour into the show and i'm really sorry. truth be told, that was a laspe into my childhood, back to a time when i was five and bawling behind the refridgerator because my mother ignored me so to punish her, i make myself impossible. and with you it is not dissimilar. it's a bad strain i carried into 13 and 14, but it disappeared at 15. i'm guessing it reserves itself for the ones i feel are closest. i think monsters reveal themselves at their highest comfort because they trust that the love they receive would overlook such imperfections (and in that sense you're right, i'm testing you). perhaps you should take it as a compliment. still, i'm sorry... but the tantrums have regressed significantly haven't they?

sunday december 22nd 2338 hours

and i was right. the twin towers must've lost their charm by the second day.

the past week was reposing though i was desperately trying to grab at the circumscribed hours we had with the family away. i don't give my parents enough credit for their company, preferring relentless crowds outside to crashing at home watching the tube. the most times i spent at home were with them away upstate. i suppose i've never fully recovered from the un-family phase i developed trying to conform to some skewed western idealogy of parental independence during my teenage years. yet, when i'm away on the job it's my bed and my mom's helplessly healthy, bland cooking i miss most.

the few days we had to ourselves fed me teaspoons of a marriage, and i ponder how i could ever bear whipping up dishes in kitchens, and doing the laundry in what would inevitably observe into an every-day for me. i am spoilt. for all my 22 years i have never been sanctioned a domestic independence. my parents tried but they gave in to an obstinacy of sloth on my part. so my mother concluded that to dump the family's laundry into the machine, and cooking organic meals for the masses is decidedly simpler than screaming her head off at me every single day to help her with them.

i demarcate with my parents because the conventional malay family (mine at least) dictates when you sleep, what you do, what you listen to and where you go. i am averse to rules, and so over the years, i learn that less communication breeds less friction. not very healthy at all. i tried giving their picturesque good girl a go, but then they start demanding more. my mother at least, because when she sees a glimmer of hope she starts clinging desperately to it. and that drives me away. and when it does, she is left despaired and disenchanted at her daughter's seeming fray of morality (if she wasn't so naive she'd be spot on, except i hate it when other people are right about their presumptions of me). so i figure benevolence is trusting their stumble in the dark. as opposed to handing them a torch to douse.

but it was really peachy just lounging around wrapped in each other watching the telly, or traipsing down for groceries, or for simple walks.

tuesday december 17th 0414 hours

i have dispirited writer's infliction once again, so that even logging in to all your blogs aches. the family's out of town, choosing to exercise some kicking back up in kuala lumpur. they plan to stay a week. i don't know why. they seem to paint KL with the myriad of colours from picture postcards of samui with their intended duration of stay. i'm expecting them home earlier than planned, unless their scheming eldest manages to persuade them a stay or two further up in port D. i think recovering from traumas of teenhood and lapping at first steps into adult-ism might sketch KL's nightlife and its twin towers rite of passage. but nibbling half a century, with a 17 yr old daughter to boot erases the former half of KL's charm. that leaves approximately 5-10 floors of the twin towers everyday for the whole of next week.

they'll be home thursday.

thursday december 12th 1501 hours

upon trusted recommendation by my darling boyfriend, i accessed kazaa and carelessly typed "zouk", avid for the pirate's imparadise of rave, and hopefully some trip-hop or ambi noise. and since kazaa has superlative talent for turning up results with the most appaling byterate transfers, i clicked blindly at all the promising ones. i am so rapacious at one time i am freeloading off 30 different people. and because i've pillaged so many i really take a few days to appreciate the bulk of my gold.

now here i ask - does zouk harbour a schoolgirl crush for the french? out of my probably 20 odd downloads (not all my freeloading spurned success), only one was (partially) english. french may be the language of love, but french RETRO really IS something else.

for starters, all their songs remind me of frilly sleeves and matching skirts, black pantyhose and heels. and the salsa in the 80s. they all possess the same 2 or 4 beats, and absence of sax is sacriledge. and now the price i'm paying for my greed is the exigence of weeding out the cheesy, since upon my return i realised that i had an abject 246mb left in my poor metallic box.

a friend of mine once forwarded me a french song called lolita (and i'm really not interested to recall the artiste, who in my head, is pale, emaciated and has super straight, jet black locks because she SOUNDS it) and i really, really should've learnt then.

ps - french rappers this one french rapper who resided for a few days in my folder, paints a picture of dull blond curly locks, pale bony frame, and a long nose. he sounds like an all grown jordy, sitting through post-teen, adulthood adaption angst phase. oh my ears!!

pps/pss - i received feedback that some of yous are unable to access this place directly. i can't think of a reason why, since my knowledge of web building solely resides in one third of dreamweaver's tutorials... perhaps you might like to try clearing your histories, and temporary internet file folder, so you might start on a clean slate. no endy, i hardly think it's got anything to do with cookies, although trying to relate this to them might make us sound like super pc nerds... the only cookies i know are chips ahoy's (contrary to popular belief, oreos do NOT belong to the cookie family, and therefore legally x-tening them "oreo cookies" is not only factually inaccurate, it's insulting to our grandmamas. who bake the real thing).

wednesday december 11th 0544 hours

hey, have you ever tried
really reaching out for the other side?
i may be climbing on rainbows,
but baby here goes...
dreams, they're for those who sleep.
life is for us to keep.
and if you're wondering wot this song is leading to...
i wanna make it with you.
i really think that we could make it good.
though you don't know me well,
but every little thing only time will tell.
but you believe the things that i do
and we'll see it through.
life can be short or long.
love can be right or wrong.
and if i'd chose the one i'd like to help me through...
i'd like to make it with you.
i really think that we could make it good.
baby you know that
dreams, they're for those who sleep.
life is for us to keep.
and if i chose the one i'd like to help me through...
i'd like to make it with you.
i really think that we could make it good.

tuesday december 10th 1416 hours

i probably should've berated you but i found i couldn't because you're already broken, and i should think your remorse and regret are stealth punishers enough. i'm not judging you, and it's funny cos i find i don't when it's you. maybe because there's a kinship i feel in so many of our actions and words (and in your more sobering moments you might beg to differ cos i know my track record sucks).

as i've apologised over short message service i fail miserably at consolation. i keep thinking anything i say will be cliche. but i know sometimes cliche helps, if only to soothe for the moment. still i clam up for fear of uttering the wrong string of words. which was why i wish i was there then, cos if my completely useless command of ANY language evaporates then at least i could've held you and i know how much that helps.

i know you came to me because you don't suppose anyone else would've understood in quite the same way but still i'm glad you did. i'll see you later and we'll talk more then.

1154 hours

i woke up to my sister's girlish titters over the phone. i am apparently the last to know that she's dumped her boyfriend of three years (or so) to go out with another guy. oh god, does this sound familiar?

when she was 16 and the boyfriend was waiting for his Os, i used to wonder how she'd take it if he moved on in poly, where student populi is bombastical and you tend to meet people from 2 million other schools and suddenly the cutesies are everywhere. how expendable (my ponders that is).

i asked her why she dumped him, and she flinched. so much for perpetuating the order of things, she does not feel the same way anymore. i suppose in the very least she was honest with the boyfriend (i should really say ex, in societal definition). and then the phone rang and it was some boy who sounded strangely familiar and i was beginning to wonder whether my sister had a thang for boys who sounded that way. it turned out to be the ex and i rubbed salt on his poor wounds by sounding surprised, which i truly was.

i feel sorry for him, but i suppose the pitfalls of love is rite of passage. everyone's battle-weary by 20.

you're right. everyone changes. seen it in friends, felt it for myself and i'm looking at it in my sister. i don't wanna pro-offer the sweet words because transitions and transmorgraphy are the other definites of life, sides death and taxes course. but they couldn't include change with those two cos then the punch just dies. death, taxes... and change. say what?!

i murdered my lust for idealistic love because it turned around and stabbed me, and i am positive all of yous relate to that. the only constance of love is its presence today. the only reason this does not worry me, today at least, is my penchant for denial and living in the now. but different people handle that differently.

i realise that this does not help my cause at all, but perhaps there are just certain things we might learn to govern better.

monday december 9th 1652 hours

hard rock was packing it in last night, thanks to the passing of ramadhan, the beginnings of syawal and all the cash flowing forth the past weekend. all of mine have pilgrimed from my hands, as they usually do.

sunday december 8th 0520 hours

i just find this so hilariously funny. err... no similarities to any person... err living or dead. *whistles*

a nauseating conversation of the lovers
<paramour> u nak marry siapa ni??
<grlscout> ohhhh... i dunno.... the one who'll buy me a diamond ring i suppose
* grlscout whistles
<grlscout> there's this guy i know... who promised me one ya know
<paramour> HHHMMMPPPHHHHHHHH.............
<grlscout> asal HHHMMMPPPHHHHHHHH.............??!
* grlscout pokes u
<paramour> yelahhhhhh
<grlscout> aper yang yelahhhh?
<paramour> but of coz i wud....
<grlscout> ah. ok
<grlscout> i nak yang berlian BEEEEEEEESAR skali k??
<grlscout> beh REALLY REALLY shiny
<paramour> the thing is.....tts y...but u think i can afford it meh?
<grlscout> u better!
<paramour> besar macam itu batu ada duduk dier nye kepala
<grlscout> kong asam
<grlscout> i don care u puasa lah everyday for 4 yrs! i want tt diamond ring!!
<paramour> wahhhh
<paramour> ini tak adil....
<grlscout> asal tak adil??
<paramour> ini bukan democracy
<grlscout> who said our relationship was democratic?
<grlscout> bila u masuk minang u bawak itu cincin manyak besar dan manyak shiny ok?
<paramour> boleh......i will spend all my money on the ring....
<grlscout> yay!
* grlscout clap hand cos happy
<paramour> so later i jemput org datang rumah dorang boleh
<paramour> duduk atas lantai void deck.....makan abuk
<grlscout> alaaaaaa u niiiiiii
<grlscout> kita kahwin my mom masak laaaa
<grlscout> save on ingredients
<grlscout> save on santan
<grlscout> save on meat
<grlscout> save on salt
<paramour> heheheheh
<grlscout> hehehe
<grlscout> balik kita nak kasi berkat pong orang tanak. save lagi!
<grlscout> kan??
<paramour> sian org datang makan lauk sayur......asam pedas sayur......curry sayur
<grlscout> so bad ah u!
<paramour> u yg bad per.....
<grlscout> i bad boleh! YOU bad takleh!
<grlscout> bi, how much is the v-strom u plannin to get u think?
<paramour> doonoe...
<grlscout> jus est laaaaa
<grlscout> 20k?
<paramour> shud be around 20k
<grlscout> ah ok. den my antaran 20k
<grlscout> so u buy the bike as investment ah
<grlscout> den wen the time comes for us, u jus sell the bike
<paramour> otak u.....
<grlscout> lol
<grlscout> ok wotttttt
<grlscout> u tak sayang i kerrrrrrrr
<paramour> u ingat wen i sell...get the same value....
<paramour> its call......depreciation
<grlscout> oh a'ah
<grlscout> uhm
<grlscout> ok den my antaran $19,990.50
<grlscout> boleh?
<paramour> berjambul ure otak is
<grlscout> kekeke
<grlscout> alaaaaa
<grlscout> kalau tak cukup jugak... u leh jual....
<grlscout> u leh jual ur body parts!
<grlscout> i think u can get a good 10k for one kidney!
<paramour> sedap hati u
<grlscout> ala boleh laaaaaa
<paramour> u jual lah
<grlscout> asal i lak??
<paramour> apsal i lak
<grlscout> sebab u yang kena bayar duit antaran la fantat
<paramour> kalau cam tu kan....y dont i give u my kidney
<grlscout> and wot the heck am i sposed to do wif ur kidney??
<paramour> samer gak per....a 10k worthed kidney...
<grlscout> otak u
<paramour> simpan dalam freezer
<grlscout> kidney isnt valued by society as antaran
<grlscout> kalau u sayang i u gi jual kidney u!
<grlscout> cepat!
<grlscout> gi!
<paramour> ok...besok gak i jual
<paramour> dua dua sekali ah.....boleh dapt 20k

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saturday december 7th 2232 hours

[BASICS]
Name: ana j
Sex: female
Birthday: 4th sept 1980
Height: 158
Hair Color: black
Eye Color: dark brown
Eye Color of Choice: i like em jus the way they are.
Writing Hand: right

[BODY ILLS AND SKILLS]
Nervous Habits: chain-sipping my drink. or chain-smoking.
Do you bite your nails? no
Are you double jointed? no
Can you roll your tongue? i think so
Can you blow smoke rings? no
Can you blow spit bubbles? actually, i can't even spit long distance.
Can you cross your eyes? shuttup.

[CLOTHES]
On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet? at least ten.
What jewelry do you wear 24/7? my black ring
What's the sexiest article of clothing on a guy? a clean shirt. that shows off his shoulders.
For a chick? chicks? soft, bright yellow down.
Favorite Piece of Clothing: my own levi's hipsters
Pajamas: tees and shorts

[FOOD]
Do you wind your spaghetti or cut it? wind
Have you ever eaten Spam? hell no.
How often do you brush your teeth? when i get up. whenever.
Hair drying method: fan
Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? nopes
What colors has your hair been? just black.
If that fountain of youth existed, would you drink from it? yes.

[MANNERS]
Do you swear? yup.
Do you ever spit? yup.

[WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE...]
Actor/Actress: tom hanks
Food: lontong on hari raya (so as you can see, it's been quite a food bliss the past few days)
Month: december
Day: now? thursdays
Cartoon: spongebob squarepants
Shoe Brand: no fav
Subject in school: lit (until sec 3, and then there were just no favourites)
Color: deep rich blue
Person to talk to online: my babes
Sport: gasp
Body part on/in you: my ears
Movie: what's eating gilbert grape
Holiday: hari raya
Magazine: dont read em
Vacationing Spot: i haven't travelled a lot. uhm.. somewhere rich with culture
Thing To Do In The Summer: sleep
Thing To Do In The Winter: sleep. in front of fireplace.
Perfume or Cologne: dont wear em.

[IN AND AROUND]
The CD Player: prodigy
Ever taken a cab? ...
Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors? i'm female.
What color is your bedroom? beige
Do you use an alarm clock? phone alarm yea.
Name one thing you are obsessed with: my mp3s
Ever sunbathed nude? not yet perhaps
Window seat or aisle?: window

[LA LA LAND]
What's your sleeping position? of late, on my tummy
Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? whatever for?
Do you snore? i haven't been told so
Do you sleepwalk? no
Do you talk in your sleep? yup
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? no
How about with the light on? no. i love the cool dark (cool as in the feeling, not the teenaged colloqualism)
Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? i love the cool dark AND the noiseless.

[GIRL QUESTIONS]
What is the nicest thing a girl/guy could do for you? show me love in my pms. or ride up to kl just to see me *ahem*
What is the first thing you notice when you look at a girl/guy? his hair i think
What do you think of cheating? wot a very apt question. it's not very nice. if you aren't a close friend, i'd judge you. if you are, i wouldn't.

ps - the "order of things" makes its very slick comeback. to this household at least.

2039 hours

my last entry was dated wrongly and i've only come to realization two minutes ago. oh well.

i have to give kudos to my sister, for possessing love enough for me though i can be hateful, for granting me respect though i've not earned it, and perhaps for simply missing the good times, enough to bite her hot head down to eventually start talking to me. this she's started doing on the 1st of syawal the past two years or so. she's in love with tradition. she carries not my strain of rebellion (hers is the faint heartbeat of the dying), so she does not question the order of things. she simply longs to perpetuate it.

in quite a few weeks, if not days, the general comely air of forgiving that floats around the spaces of early syawal will de-throne, and the "order of things" takes her place. we'll fight over the phone again, the tv, the pc and everything else. my dad shall blow his top about the rule of my life (again), because the only rule there is, is that there are no rules. the patriarch finds this obscene, but like the great dad that he is, he resigns to it. until the next expulsion. the only constance in our household is my mother, who never tires feeding the strays or the family, the UHU that holds us all in place, the nagging attribute, the compassionate second (in all our hours of hate). all this in comely air time or otherwise. she still drives me nuts and i still do her likewise.

but for now, it's nice to tread the house in calm waters.

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thursday december 5th 2304 hours

that time of the year - spanking clean curtains, and carpets, and vacuumed ceilings, ketupats and serondengs, and sambal gorengs... and classic evergreens you grew up with that spin annually, radio, tv year in and year out, and concerts and dramas the night before. but i've just retreated into this space again, listening to suria and its hosts, unwrapping festive stand-ups that spell more normal than normalcy, because without them we're lost.

and i wish i could say more, except i can't for fear of sounding the grouch, or too like the anti-conformist, so let's self-censor and be on our way.

selamat hari raya, y'all.

thursday december 5th 1050 hours

 grease%20logo
Grease. Happy, fun and colourful, you love your mates and are a bit soppy at heart.
Which broadway musical are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

yuk.

my fairies of reason took the minute off last night, which was why as i was combing my hair in front of the old shiny surface, the thought of bangs banged against my head (literally, figuratively and cornily). so i gathered a handful of hair, and went snip! snip!... snip snip snip snip. it's horribly jagged, and i gathered a handful TOO much, so that now they're really ding-dongs rather than bangs (dammit). but they're fun to have. it's been awhile.

i'm seriously considering getting a polaroid. i get too lazy and broke to process film, plus cheap digis fuck pixels up, and the expensive ones are... expensive. so polaroids should be in-betweeners these days, having to compete.

 jemlogo
You could be in Jem!
An 80's TV quiz!
brought to you by Quizilla

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tuesday december 3rd 1849 hours

last sunday's spring cleaning's ejaculation of dust triggered my influenza receptors. and my health, the way i see it now, is hanging on to its pride. so that it no longer conquers, it just wields a shield and swings its swords, and half the time, it misses. which means whatever inflicts me keeps attacking, and my body keeps hanging on. and i think i only really get better because germs need their rest. so they retire and succumb into a hibernation. in MY blood cells. until they revive two, three months later, to launch another blitzkrieg on my staggering defence.

0312 hours

sent this way by didi mail. thanks luv.

disclaimer: the following prints on this site are no testaments to their truths. or otherwise. but it's worth two reads. each.

Bollywood & the Indian Army by Anonymous
In today's society the Asian (Pakistani, Indian, Bangladeshi, etc.) Muslims are being brain washed by what I call the 'the Bollywood culture'. It is indeed a very sad scenario for the eyes and the ears to take in. My main concern lies with the Kashmiri issue.

Many Asian Muslim families go to concerts and movies to see their favourite Indian stars at their best. But what they don't think about is, that at the same time these people are killing and torturing their Muslim brothers and raping their sisters.

You're probably thinking that this guys loosing it or "oh no here comes another fundi (fundamentalist)" ...well just take a few seconds and think about what is right.
A percentage of every concert ticket, cinema ticket and video rental goes to the Indian army. As we saw during the Kargil scenario the Indian actors and actresses openly gave donations of millions of rupees to the army. "Where did that money come from?" well, from the pockets of some rather generous Muslims.

At the moment the presence of the occupying forces in Kashmir stands at over 700,000. Nowhere in the world is the scale of the army to civilian ratio so high. Where does the money come to employ such a large army? The forces are responsible for the grossest human rights violations meted out by anyone.
So what??? Does it concern us? We are safe in our little havens in the West. Does it matter when a 14-year-old girl is gang raped by barbarians while her parents are forced to look on? Does it concern us that our sisters commit suicide when they find out that they are pregnant after a rape? Is it worth thinking about the mother who cries for the only son she had was tortured to death because he was a 20-year-old youth who practiced Islam? Sorry to be so graphic, but let me tell you the reality is a lot worse!

Next time you are screaming your head off at Salman Khan’s dance routine at a concert... next time you are smiling at Ashawariya Rae dancing half naked on a mountain in Switzerland... just think... think about that young innocent face of the 14 year old Muslim girl, think about the tears of an elderly mothers in Kashmir, which is now known as “The Valley of Death”...

The Jewish Conscience
Occupied Jerusalem: 19 November, 2002 (IAP News): Dozens of Israeli occupation soldiers who have killed Palestinian civilians while serving in the West Bank and Gaza Strip are reportedly suffering from what is increasingly described as “the intifada syndrome.”

According to the Israeli media, many of the soldiers who have been discharged from army service are now facing “personal crises” stemming from their respective “harsh” experiences in the West Bank and Gaza.

According to the Israeli newspaper, Ma’ariv, the scope of the phenomenon is frightening as dozens of these soldiers are seeking an escape from their problems by coming under the influence of drugs, including some instances of heroine and cocaine.

Ma’ariv reported on 15 November that some soldiers tried to commit suicide or hurt themselves.

The right-wing newspaper quoted one soldier who served in an undercover unit as saying that “we didn’t know that what we did would haunt us in the future.”

We went into houses, we clashed with the Palestinians, we killed civilians, some of whom were innocent. You do the job and you don’t think it’s going to hurt you in the future. You’re told that that’s the task. Today I regret some of the things I did, and today, I stay at home banging my head against the wall, I don’t have a job and no one talks to me.”

A former paratrooper who has been under psychological treatment for the past three months related the following:

We’d go into houses. We’d see children and old people crying. We shot their television sets. At first you don’t pity, you do the job. But when you sit at home later you begin to understand that you’ve done things that have hurt you emotionally.”

The Hebrew newspaper pointed out that many of the soldiers concerned became addicted to hard drugs.

An officer from an elite unit, who fought against the Palestinians for two years, went to Thailand. He tried to escape what had happened to him in the territories, was unsuccessful and fell into drugs. He returned to Israel and moved on to harder drugs, to cocaine. He was treated with his parents by his side. A few days later, they found him dead. No one knows to this day from what.”

The Israeli army is aware of the phenomenon, but has a hard time treating it.

We can’t monitor this phenomenon. We can’t treat every combatant who gets caught up in drugs and emotional distress,” said an army spokesperson.

0154 hours

all i couldn't say
yes, it would be hard and i know it. and tis true in the end what you'd said - i'll never stand in your shoes. but i have been in boats similar, and i know the feeling of loss and aimlessness, of forks in the road and blisters from your shoe. it's never quite the same, but at least your girl relates to a tenth of your dilemma?

yes, every choice is a risk, and don't i know it? didn't you think nz was a risk? truth be told i didn't know wtf i was doing. all i knew was i'd be coming home with debts enough to flood a dam, and a flimsy piece of paper i wasn't sure i could do anything with. you know why? because i didn't know what i wanted to do (i still don't). i just knew i had to do something, and anything fitted perfect. then fate intervened. it yanked my parents from ledges of disaster - having to swim in the ashes of my shite. so tell me about risks, luv.

gorge yourself as much as you can before you make the plunge luv. you have six months to dig up the dirt on what's phat with audio, on top of exploring all other options. yes i know it's a rut. but you're not in it alone. and i know you don't believe me, but i've already volunteered. so there. you, me and mister rut.

and yes i make things excruciating for you, but i do try. buy me nikes for optimum speed, to run away from my monsters with, luv,

 

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monday december 2nd 1954 hours

i was surfing when i stumbled onto some guy's blog and he was talking about treasure planet. and so it is only now that i remember to write about it, even though i'd caught it since last week.

treasure planet, as a disney production, broke two distinct boundaries (my last disney cartoon being the lion king so forgive this somewhat skewed analysis). disney has finally realised that
1. not all villains are irredeemablly vile
2. heterosexual love isn't first on a kid's mind

i think disney cartoons have lost their lustre. or maybe i've just grown up. but i had a crush on ariel the mermaid for the longest time.

1504 hours

asian tourists have a superlative knack for attempting to wring every drop of their money's worth, by shoving and pushing to the front of exhibits and blinding sentosa's hostages with trigger-happy fingers which seem perpetually glued to snap buttons. favourite interjections include... forgive me, the ONLY interjection there is (an asian creativity of variation), is made up of the letters w-a-a-a-a-a-a-h followed by numerous exclamation marks, in that order. to sympathise with a malaysian, you need only visit the underwater world during tourist season. be immersed in fafillions of japanese, chinese and indian bodies. for safety (both you and potential troublemaker), keep your eye open for screaming miniature adults. but you won't be missing them for obvious reasons (they run everywhere and... they scream).

fuck. and singaporeans need courtesy campaigns.

but it was all good. finally traded the crisp notes for this year's ornamented cloth (after two days' worth of procrastination, and more than half the allotted budget unaccounted for). the shop that we stumbled upon a few weeks back, possessed of a silver suit which caught my fancy, has somehow vanished. in its place was another. i felt like i'd come to return a magic book to the old demented bookstore, which predictably in fantasy adventures, was never really there in the first place. so we skipped across to one other shack. and it wasn't as bedecked as a lot of the other makeshifts along the happy bizarre (woops), but i am quite agreeable with my latest purchase. i like i like i like. just a little laden with guilt. i should learn to be more the conscientious haggler.

then, a lively re-convergence of two-thirds of us. and who cares anymore because we have the most fun all of us. perhaps she misses it all and perhaps she knows it but having been de-throned from the limelight, dispossessed of the whiner's (woops) corner, and capsized from her ships of bitchdom, just about tears all the wit apart and chews it down for dinner. i suppose if self-absorbed anonymous took time off to notice the sun revolves around neither this planet nor theirs, they might sympathise with her cause.

luv, you don't know what it was that you did, but what you did that you didn't know about... it's little splashes of rain. into my oceans of you.

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